Thursday, October 1, 2020

Proud Boy

Peopleaa keep asking me will you condemn white supremacists Sir? I have to say to everyone I say it strongly I don't know any, I'm sure you all know this I don't know any. Peopleaa in my administrayshzzizt will tell you I don't know any... many... many peopleaa in my administrayshzzizt will tell you this. I ask... you want to call them, what do you want to call them? Give me a name give me a name go ahead who would you like me to condemn? They say the proud boys but I do not know who proud boys are.

 I'll tell you this though I'm very proud of my boy Eric we keep him hidden even so he came to visit me at Turnberry... I'm very very prouds of Eric. He came to see me in my bunker just the other day 

squealing  father, father, I was just on TV on Foxy TV and I was telling them how the LGBTQ community has come out in full force for you every single day and that I'm part of that great community. I said to him I'm proud for your braiveer of your selflizit..ff  in saying that and coming all the way to Turnberry to tell me. I'm bigly proud of my boy.

Monday, August 17, 2020

Bunker Boy at Turnberry

 Peopleaa say many many peopleaa do... I'm sure you know that. They say Sir I hear they are calling you bunker boy now because you hide in a bunker all the time afraid of the radical left. That is fake news the bunker is just a contingee plan we all have to have big beautiful contingee plans if you are a stable genius like me. I'm well known for my braiveer I'm very brave as you all know.

 

They must call me bunker boy because even although I cheat at golf I sometimes do end up in the bunkers at Turnberry.  Which I have to use great braiveer great great braiveer some of those bunkers are deep you know to get out off before count-hing on along the course with unwaving skill. It must be my skill at getting out the bunkers they are talking about.

Friday, August 7, 2020

Artful Dealing

 If you are as skilled in dealing as I am, many many peopleaa say I'm strongly tremendous.... you don't need a contingee plan. If you know what you want you need to be unwaving in the fight no matter how bigly the fight is to get the deal.

 

The deal on this at Turnberry was tremendous I beat the UK government down on this deal. The most tremendous part is if I keep it hush hush everyone thinks it's mine that it belongs to me. When really I only rent it from the UK government at 100 measly pounds a month that's what happens when you are a stable genius. Fake news would say rent free would be the strongest deal or I can only afford to rent it that's a hoax. You can stay here at my Turnberry Lighthouse B&B for a tiny tiny amount of thousands and thousands of pounds per night.
 



Wednesday, August 5, 2020

IT IS WHAT IT IS

The fake news say I have very small hands, it's a hoax. I know of many many peopleaa, many many that say "Sir you have very big hands very powerful big beautiful hands" many many peopleaa say this I bet you did not know that.

I might have.. I might have.. and you know what small hands mean but many peopleaa you know say I don't. And look I can hold a very big stick a very powerful strong stick. You all know that you all do.


 
And well I tell you this.. I'll tell you this many peopleaa agree with me... if I did have tiny tiny hands like the fake news and Antifa  Antifa say I would make up for that by having a massively big clock.




Sunday, July 26, 2020

Donald cancels republiklan convention.

My political team came to me and laid out our plans for the convention at a place I love. The drawings look absolutely beautiful, it looked so good so bigly fast who knew. I know you are desperate to be there but the timing is not right it's ahh.... really something. They said sir we can make this work easily,  incredibly incredible even the Polish say it so strongly with enthusiasm it would work. But I need to keep you safe from the Chova virus and the radical left.

It's not at one of my properties so I told my team, my peopleaa it's time to cancel this component of the convention until it's at one of my properties it will be really good, I think we will do it really well very shortly. I need it at one of my propertied so badly.