The Red Caps are Coming,The Red Caps are Coming

Many peopleaa many many peopleaa have told me "Sir they say they will not let you into Scotland."

How dare they! They will not stop me I'm already here tell them the Red Caps are coming and why are they calling me bunker boy again.

Turnberry Halfway House

 For those peopleaa that think I'm a moron this proves I'm a stable geniass... you know that don't you I know you do. Many peopleaa come to me and say "Sir, sir are you not worried you will end up in debtors prison when they come for all the millions and millions you owe?" This is were I'm smart very terry smart so smart I have nothing to worry about. 

 Because I could not borrow enough money to buy this lighthouse, not that I needed to borrow any!!! They just would not permit me to buy it so I have to rent it not many peopleaa know that I just rent it. The clever part is that means they can not take it off me to clear my debts. It also means if I ever got out of jail I have my very own halfway house to come to. I'm told by many many of our brave military that it sells very good Covfefe you know... they paided my rent for it you know. I love my military such losers.... I mean so much.

Turnberry Jailbird at Guard Post

From my hiding place in the bunker many peopleaa came to me, many many propleaa and say... they do so strongly  "Sir you won you really did, you won won won." As you all know I did win I'm a winner and only have the best people around me... the best. 

That's why when they suggested I needed a guard post to stop all the unbelievers at Scump Turnberry. You know the ones... the ones in the fake news that say I lost.... those radical far left... the Antifa. Well I thought to myself Donald as the chosen one perhaps you do need a gestapo guard post  after all it fits in strongly with the ethos of  a fascist racist bunker and you all know my bigly love for a bunker. I also have to say as you all already know the Queen in her palace has guard posts for her royal guard to stand in so as a KING I need a guard post. A King is bigger than a Queen you already knew that didn't you!!

 It needs to be a big beautiful guard post, a guard post with such a bigly barrier not even Antifa can get through. What Donald Scump wants he gets you all know that I'm sure  you do... so here it is in all it's bigly beautiful splendirz my Turnberry Gestapo guard post

My only complaint is that jailbird in the photo is it an omen of many more jailbirds occupying Turnberry?

Dior Turnberry

 Why do they say  peopleaa do not like me? When so many... many many many peopleaa say Sir you are the chosen one, I'm sure you all know that better than anyone. A lot of peopleaa tell me, Sir Sir although you have tiny tiny hands you have a bigly beautiful chopper a tremendous chopper you should us it more, the peopleaa that say they do not like you would love you.

With that thought in my genius mind my great bigly stable mind I had an idea, I'd let anyone at Turnberry use my big beautiful chopper, my big beautiful Sikorsky for the right price of course. Sikorsky it sounds so Russian so Russian I love Russia Russia Russia. It worked wonderfully well wonderfully you know that don't you it should make millions and millions. For a long long time it worked then for some reason the peopleaa that wanted to use my chopper didn't want to be seen riding my chopper with my name on it. Why why?

Did I tell you I love Christians all Christians! As I'm sure you all know I like to stand in front of church any church with an upside down bible in my tiny tiny hand because I love those Christian poepleaa so much. So when Christian Dior said they would use my bigly chopper the decals had their name on it and not mine....why?  You know I love those Dior Christians so so much right any Christian!!

I liked  those Dior Christians so much and  all the money they spent at my motel, a motel for rednecks I know you all love a good red roofed redneck motel I know you do many many peopleaa say so. It was however their bigly beautiful flag their tremendious big flag that I liked the most.

I've never figured it out never, I'm a Scump of  very little brain you know. Not long after the Dior Christians left peopleaa did not want to ride my big chopper it gave them a bad name they said so I had to send it back to mother states. They say to me Sir... Sir is that a loss a big loss for you a mistake you made are you a loser? No I never lose my big chopper is now up for sale it will make lots and lots.  I'll need some big big money soon after January. It's sad Turnberry  does not have my chopper thankfully it might reduce the losses it keeps making then I'll make millions and millions.

Proud Boy

Peopleaa keep asking me will you condemn white supremacists Sir? I have to say to everyone I say it strongly I don't know any, I'm sure you all know this I don't know any. Peopleaa in my administrayshzzizt will tell you I don't know any... many... many peopleaa in my administrayshzzizt will tell you this. I ask... you want to call them, what do you want to call them? Give me a name give me a name go ahead who would you like me to condemn? They say the proud boys but I do not know who proud boys are.

 I'll tell you this though I'm very proud of my boy Eric we keep him hidden even so he came to visit me at Turnberry... I'm very very prouds of Eric. He came to see me in my bunker just the other day 

squealing  father, father, I was just on TV on Foxy TV and I was telling them how the LGBTQ community has come out in full force for you every single day and that I'm part of that great community. I said to him I'm proud for your braiveer of your selflizit..ff  in saying that and coming all the way to Turnberry to tell me. I'm bigly proud of my boy.

Bunker Boy at Turnberry

 Peopleaa say many many peopleaa do... I'm sure you know that. They say Sir I hear they are calling you bunker boy now because you hide in a bunker all the time afraid of the radical left. That is fake news the bunker is just a contingee plan we all have to have big beautiful contingee plans if you are a stable genius like me. I'm well known for my braiveer I'm very brave as you all know.

 

They must call me bunker boy because even although I cheat at golf I sometimes do end up in the bunkers at Turnberry.  Which I have to use great braiveer great great braiveer some of those bunkers are deep you know to get out off before count-hing on along the course with unwaving skill. It must be my skill at getting out the bunkers they are talking about.

Artful Dealing

 If you are as skilled in dealing as I am, many many peopleaa say I'm strongly tremendous.... you don't need a contingee plan. If you know what you want you need to be unwaving in the fight no matter how bigly the fight is to get the deal.

 

The deal on this at Turnberry was tremendous I beat the UK government down on this deal. The most tremendous part is if I keep it hush hush everyone thinks it's mine that it belongs to me. When really I only rent it from the UK government at 100 measly pounds a month that's what happens when you are a stable genius. Fake news would say rent free would be the strongest deal or I can only afford to rent it that's a hoax. You can stay here at my Turnberry Lighthouse B&B for a tiny tiny amount of thousands and thousands of pounds per night.

 

IT IS WHAT IT IS

The fake news say I have very small hands, it's a hoax. I know of many many peopleaa, many many that say "Sir you have very big hands very powerful big beautiful hands" many many peopleaa say this I bet you did not know that.

I might have.. I might have.. and you know what small hands mean but many peopleaa you know say I don't. And look I can hold a very big stick a very powerful strong stick. You all know that you all do.

 

And well I tell you this.. I'll tell you this many peopleaa agree with me... if I did have tiny tiny hands like the fake news and Antifa  Antifa say I would make up for that by having a massively big clock.

Donald cancels republiklan convention.

My political team came to me and laid out our plans for the convention at a place I love. The drawings look absolutely beautiful, it looked so good so bigly fast who knew. I know you are desperate to be there but the timing is not right it's ahh.... really something. They said sir we can make this work easily,  incredibly incredible even the Polish say it so strongly with enthusiasm it would work. But I need to keep you safe from the Chova virus and the radical left.

It's not at one of my properties so I told my team, my peopleaa it's time to cancel this component of the convention until it's at one of my properties it will be really good, I think we will do it really well very shortly. I need it at one of my propertied so badly.